I unexpectedly (and reluctantly) moved back to my hometown. I unexpectedly fell for an old high school classmate, and he unexpectedly proposed to me. We unexpectedly found out I was pregnant, and we got married sooner than expected. Now, we're experiencing the unexpected daily...the good, the bad, the funny, the frustrating. Read all about it...

Saturday, October 9, 2010

The Past's Influence on the Present

Ohhhh, the dreaded questions...

How many girlfriends/boyfriends have you had?
Did you ever cheat on any of them?
How many serious relationships have you been in?
What was your longest relationship?
Were you ever in true love?
Ever have a one-night stand?
How many people have you had sex with?

If you delve too deeply too soon, you're a creep.
If you constantly ask your significant other about his or her past, you're obsessive.
If you don't ask anything at all, you're sketch and might be hiding something about your previous relationships.

It's like we're looking for trouble by asking! But really, can anyone say they can go into a relationship without wanting to know the answers to any of the above?

Yes, it's important to know about the history behind the person you're dating. Yes, it's perfectly fine to ask questions. No, it's not okay to hang over a guy's head the fact that he has cheated before. No, it's not okay to assume a girl is undateable based on her "number" (so apparently "undateable" isn't a really word, but I'm using it anyway).

AND NO, it's not okay to base your current relationship on another one from your own past. Uh duh, there is a reason why that one ended. So, don't go around saying, "My ex did this, that, and the other thing," because your current man or woman does not want to be compared to someone else you might have loved once.If you cannot shake the memories, maybe there's a reason. Some people go into relationships wanting to still be with their former significant other. No one wants to be the rebound, so try to spare a heart from breaking.

Also, some people have done naughty, naughty things when they were younger, and they probably didn't think about how their decisions could affect their lives in the long run. I mean, think about it...say you know a boy from high school who liked streaking through backyards back in the day. You think that, at 24 years old, it's still his favorite pasttime?

Some people DO mature.
Some people DO change.

We've all heard the phrase, "You can't turn a whore into a housewife," but we shouldn't generalize. 

Besides, everyone could use a little redemption in their lives. If God can be forgiving, can't you??

Seriously, people really do grow up to realize that what they did when they were younger won't fly if they were to do it now. They realize that they should take relationships and themselves more seriously if they ever expect to settle down and have a meaningful connection with someone else.

If you made one mistake in your life, would you like it if everyone judged you for it forever and ever, never giving you a chance to prove that it's not something you'll do again?

Trusting someone else with your heart takes a lot of guts, a large dose of faith, and a willingness to get over what's been said and done.

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