I unexpectedly (and reluctantly) moved back to my hometown. I unexpectedly fell for an old high school classmate, and he unexpectedly proposed to me. We unexpectedly found out I was pregnant, and we got married sooner than expected. Now, we're experiencing the unexpected daily...the good, the bad, the funny, the frustrating. Read all about it...

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Time Flies When You're Married

Easter Weekend is here!! Not only is it the weekend we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord who came to save us and prove that we can be redeemed, but it is also...

MY FIRST ANNIVERSARY!!

On April 24, 2010, I married my best friend...the only person who can put up with me, and the only person I know I can put up with until I die! And trust, we put up with A LOT!!

Throughout this year we've watched our friends get married and have kids of their own. We have witnessed before our very eyes how much life is changing as we are growing up. I am still not used to calling myself by a different last name, and it is even weirder hearing people use my new name rather than my maiden name. Saying "my husband" when referring to Sirron is sooo strange to me still. Will I EVER get used to it?!

IT'S BEEN ONE HELL OF A YEAR (take that as a good and bad thing)!!!

I've learned:
  • When you marry young, there are more sacrifices. You might still have a world of opportunity, but you have to center it around your spouse and/or kids. You might have to put off grad school. You might not be able to move into your dream Manhattan loft. Perhaps all of your aspirations have to be postponed or reconsidered. But, if you really love someone and are willing to make changes in order to be married/stay married, then trust and believe it is 100% worth it. Don't think that all your dreams are shot to sh*t just because you chose to marry at the typical age when most people are discovering the world and seizing opportunities. I am not saying that... but what I mean is, you might have to shift things around and reorder the way you originally planned your life. Never let ANYONE take away your dreams. Make a way for your dreams to work with your marriage so you do not come across selfish or inconsiderate.
  • You really do marry the family. I think my husband experiences this moreso than I do because I come from an opinionated (to say it lightly) family. If a decision is made that my parents are not comfortable or totally in agreement with, we notice it even if they don't tell us outright. More times than not they tell us outright! The advice, the criticism, the invasion of privacy, etc., comes from both sides of our families. It affects us. But we know it's "for our own good," as the saying goes. The concept of marrying the family is something we gotta get used to quickly because family won't be going away any time soon...or any time ever! However, above all, we really are only married to each other, so our decision is final.
  • Marriage is a love/hate, give/take union. It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along (thanks Maroon 5!!). Seriously, though, that sentence just about sums up the definition of marriage. Whether times are good or bad, happy or sad...I gotta stop with the lyrics! Bottom line - nothing in life is perfect. Nothing in this world will bring you pure joy; everything seems to be tinged with even just the slightest doubt, slightest uneasiness, slightest sadness...whatever negative word you could put after the word "slightest." BUT focusing on that negativity instead of the positivity will make you want to hate and take, and it will make you forget about the words in front of the "/," which are what balances marriage, and life in general.
Overall, marriage is the best decision I have made. If you ever get the chance, think hard about it. Don't just jump into it. Know the pros, learn the cons, and seriously consider if you want to deal with it all, forever and forever...with the same damn person! Oh, and throw a kid or two or three in there, and your life really won't be just all about you anymore! Can you handle it? There's a reason why engagement cards that say "Congratulations!" are usually followed by the words: "GOOD LUCK!" (possibly in all caps like that for emphasis).

Luck, logic, love. The three "L" words of marriage. That just came to me - how cool is that?! No, but really, it does make sense. Take my word for it.

If you've already decided to get married, or if you are already married...I know I've only been a wife for a year (technically like 11 months plus a few days - math is not my strong point!), and so my advice is probably meaningless, but I just want to say: remember why you chose to get married in the first place. When you feel like slashing his tires or shaving her eyebrows...in the midst of the anger, just slow down and remember what made you decide to be with him or her forever in the first place.